Friendship "Zach"

The questions I've been pondering about friendship have really become important questions for me.  And I believe yours and my answers to these questions can really help us discover and determine who are real friends are... or at least who we should allow into that inner circle.  The infamous "circle of trust" that we hear talked about on "Meet The Parents."  This next guy I want to introduce you to has alot of qualities I look for in a friend.  However when it comes to the questions on friendship that I have been asking this particular question makes me think of Zach Sikora.  The question is: "Who in your life, when you are not around and someone is speaking against your character, will stick up for you when no one else will.  Let me just say, I see this all the time.  It's amazing how open people get when the people they are talking about are not around.  It has always impressed me to see people stick up for those who are not there.  Those who are being talked about.  They stand up for their friend and their friends character and that to me is HUGE.  Zach is like that.  As a matter fact the story goes like this:  Zach and Liz[his wife] were out for dinner and someone who knew Natalie and I came up to them and started saying things that were not true about us and attacking our character.  I believe it was Zach who quickly let that person know that not only is their information inaccurate but did not appreciate the things they were saying!  WOW.  That is awesome and that really made me feel good to know my friend had my back.  That is a true friend.  People are always going to talk behind your back but few people will make waves and correct the gossip.  When you find someone who will do that you have found a true friend.  That is courage and respect and I would return the favor for Zach in a heartbeat.  Zach, thanks for always being there to talk and for caring enough to know me in such a way that when someone speaks against my character you have the courage to respond to them.  Love you bro and praying for you.  Your a true friend.

Friendship "Jason"

The third question about friendship I want to respond to is: "Who in your life is more concerned about what is best for you instead of what is best for them?"  I have a lot of friends that stand out when it comes to this question but I thought of one guy in particular that I want to take a moment and tell you about.  His name is Jason Sfire and we have been friends for about two years.  Something I have noticed about our friendship is how Jason always puts my needs before his.  I can't tell you how many times I have needed him to just drop something and come help me out.  Even in the midst of what he needed to do he dropped what he was doing and put me before himself.  It seems like he puts my well being before his own or at least as important as his own.  Without fail, I know that if I need something I can call Jason and he will be there.  I believe what makes this friendship trait effective is selflessness.  When it comes to our friendship Jason responds in a selfless way.  Rarely is he asking the question what is in it for me but he is simply being there as a friend.  That is awesome.  Jason, I have continued to say thank you for the things you have done and the way your friendship has impacted my life but I will never be able to thank you enough.  You are a true friend and I want you to know I will always be there to put your needs above my own... Thanks again and I love you bro.

Friendship "My Dad"

Ok so I didn't keep up with this each day this week but I want to continue answering these questions on friendship by using people in my life that I feel are the living answers to these questions.  The second question on friendship was "Who in your life is there for you no matter what and will always be there even if they don't agree with your life decisions?"  I know this will sound pretty lame but to me it is so true.  My dad [and Mom] totally fulfill this role in my life.  When I was growing up my parents were clearly my parents.  Not like parents today who try to be friends with their kids.  My mom and dad were my mom and dad.  However as I've grown up my dad and I have become friends.  He was my best man in my wedding and I will always consider him one of my best friends.  Having said that, he has not always agreed with the decisions I make.  Doesn't mean he doesn't love me or isn't proud of me just means he doesn't always agree.  I remember the time I was leading a youth service and I farted in the microphone... It got alot of laughs from the kids in my group but my dad was sitting in that night and did not think that was funny or wise.  But he loved me through it.  That is huge.  I know as a parent that is expected but I also see that quality in him as a friend. What it boils down to is trust.  My dad trusts in the person I am therefore he is trusting that even when I make a discision he doesn't completely agree with he trusts me enough to support me in the midst of it. Dad, you will never know how much I love you and how huge of a hero you are in my life.  Thanks for supporting me and being there for me even when you didn't always agree with my choices.  I love you dad.

Friendship "Mike"

I decided to take this week and share some thoughts on friendship. I am going to answer 6 questions on friendship by using some of my friends as examples. The first question I asked was, "Who in your life celebrates your success's even when they are experiencing something different?" When I think about this question and who in my life is really good at this I think of my friend Mike Fredieu. Talk about a true friend! I can honestly say that every time I experienced something awesome in my life, even though he may not have liked the place he was at in life, or wished the same thing was happening to him, he was always able to celebrate with me. He genuinely was excited that good things were happening for me. He has always been like that. I would consider a Mike a true friend for many reason's but one thing that really sticks out in my mind about him is simply how much he enjoys seeing me succeed. That is hard to find and I truly value that in our friendship. I may not tell you often enough Mike, but thank you for being a true friend and know that I will always respond the same way. Thanks my friend!

"Friendship"

Just thought I would take some time this week and highlight a few friends of mine.  The reason I decided to do this is because lately I'm really discovering who my "true" freinds are.  As I discover that truth I am also aware of some characteristics that make them "true" friends.  Each friend brings to the table different characteristics of friendship that I have been learning a lot from.  In the process of discovering who my "friends" are I am discovering those who really are not my "friends."  I have always given people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to relationship but I honestly believe that in and of itself may be foolish when it comes to those you "let in" to that inner circle.  Here are some questions I'm asking:

1.  Who in your life celebrates your success's even when they are experiencing something different?

2. Who in your life is there for you no matter what and will always be there even if they don't agree with your "life" decisions.

3.  Who in your life will be honest with you even when you don't want to hear it. [But still give you the freedom to make your own choices]

4.  Who in your life is more concerned about what is best for you instead of what is best for them?

5.  Who in your life when you are not around and someone is speaking against your character will stick up for you when no one else will?

6.  Who in your life understands your weaknesses and still calls you friend?

These are just a few questions I have been pondering and over this week would like to answer each of those questions with someone in my life who seems to be that kind of friend.  Doesn't mean that is the only trait they have just means it's one they are really good at.  Friendship is important and for me it's something I have taken way to lightly...  

So over the next few days let me introduce you to some "Friends" of mine.

Just a fun tribute to moms out there and a huge thank you to my wife who is one of the greatest moms I know.  Alexia and Cayden you are very blessed to have a mom like your mom.

Christmas Trash

..Wow, I was amazed today as I drove around town the day after Christmas. I saw this family carrying bags and bags of christmas trash out to the curb where there was already at least 8 full bags of trash. Empty Christmas box's, wrapping paper, and food plates that were obviously signs of an amazing Christmas. Or was it. I love Christmas and I love getting gifts. I also enjoy watching my kids get the things they have wanted and have asked Santa for. However in the midst of it for whatever reason I'm reminded that no matter how much we get we will always want more. My kids are very grateful for what they get but sometimes I wonder if they "get" to much. When the comment made after opening a great Christmas present is, "do I have more presents to open?" something is wrong. [I had a talk with her by the way] It's not her fault, I think it's natural for us to want things and enjoy getting things. I just wish we/I gave more. I wish it was natural to want only what we need and give more to the needs of others. It's trendy lately to be green, to give more to those in need, and to support those attacking social injustice but will it really change the selfish nature in all of us? On a scale of 1 to 10 how are you doing in the area of self. If 1 is selfish and 10 is selfless then where are you? How do we truly die to self when everything around us screams self. I see it in me, and I don't like it. I see it in my kids and don't like it... has the abundance of things cause the problem to be greater... and would having less make us more thankful and giving...?

Control Freak!

Just wanted to take a minute and update everyone on my son.  A lot of you have been praying for him and checking in on him and that has been overwhelming and kind.  You will never know how much that has meant to us.  Cayden was diagnosed with pneumonia a few weeks ago and is now doing much better thanks to your prayers.  The big thing that we were worried about was the small seizures/convulsions he was having.  The doctor's had him go through an e.e.g. which is a test that monitors him while he is sleeping.  That test came back negative, meaning he passed with flying colors.  They have basically said he is fine and doesn't need any further testing at this point.  Thanks again for the prayers.  I discovered something about God through all this.  If you have kids you will understand what I'm about to describe to you.  When your kids are sick, you feel HELPLESS!!  I so wanted to take his place through this process.  I wanted to control the situation and make it better but I couldn't.  I felt like I was not able to protect him and that really bothered me.  I was fighting for control and God is giving His up.  Let me explain.  God could control us if he chose to but he doesn't.  He gives us the freedom to choose and therefore relinquishes control.  I don't have it and want it... He has it and chooses not to use it.  It has to be so hard for him to watch us make decisions that ultimately hurt us and others when He could step in at any moment and change it... If I had the control I long for would I even come close to making the right decisions with it...

Every Monday Matters[3]

Just getting back into the gym for the first time in months... Definitely lacking the motivation.  One thing about working out that a lot of people forget about it is that you have to also eat healthy if you are going to really benefit from the work out.  Here are some tips for healthy eating.

"Eat Healthy" Monday 03

FACTS: French fries are the most widely eaten vegetable...

- Annual cost for chronic conditions and diseases is big money:

$117 billion for obesity

$66 billion for high blood pressure

$432 billion for heart disease and strokes

$50 billion for weight-loss aids, diet foods, supplements, and weight-loss medications

   yet obesity is still increasing.

- 79% likelihood exist that an overweight child will become an overweight adult.

- 75% of adults don't eat the recommended daily 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables.

- Snack consumption by children has increased 300% from 20 years ago.

- 400,000 people die annually from poor eating habits and laziness.

TAKE ACTION TODAY:

1. If you suffer from or have a family history of any of the aforementioned chronic conditions or diseases, consult your family physician for dietary counseling.

2. Although every individual is unique in his or her dietary needs, here are some ideas to help:

- Eat fewer foods with refined grains and sugars; reduce your intake of fatty foods; and eat smaller portions.

- Eat more dark vegetables, legumes, fruits, whole grains, low-fat milk products, and lean   meats.

- Eat slowly so that you will feel full before you've overeaten.

- Don't reward yourself or children with food.

- Develop a routine and eat at similar times each day.

- Drink plenty of water.

- Limit snacking.

3. Eat to live; don't live to eat.

YOU MATTER

You deserve to be in good health.  For most, diabetes, hypertension, and other obesity related chronic diseases are preventable by simply eating healthy and exercising.  You will feel better than ever both mentally and physically-the only way to really live.  If you don't want to do it for yourself or your wallet, do it for those who love you.  Just start...one day at a time.

"The Encounter"

For those of you who are not located in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago, The Encounter may be something new to you.  The Encounter is Community Worship night that happens twice a year. We started this event over 4 years ago with the heart to see God's Church come together for worship.  Not just the local church but the Church big "C."  This is video footage from the last Encounter in September.  Just to celebrate what God is doing I thought I would post this.  We had over 42 church's represented at this event with 8 worship pastors on stage, from 8 different church's, leading those people in worship.  It was such an amazing night.  We do have the potential to be the answer to Jesus prayer when he prayed in John 17:11 "so they may be one as we are one."  What would happen if the mavericks out there stopped trying to do ministry by themselves and linked arms with men and woman from church's in their community to not only worship together, but live life together. Yes, the local church is still God's plan to reach our world... but it goes further than that.  It has to. It's about the Church coming together like never before... or the Church coming together like "before"...

"Habitual Scatteredness"

I was reading a leadership blog the other day and came across some of this information.  I think it was one of Andy Stanley's blog's but I'm not sure.  Sometimes I feel like I get lost in blog world but here is what I was challenged with.

In our fast paced, twenty-four hour society we are constantly distracted and diverted from working on what we should be working on.  It creates lives of almost habitual scatteredness.  Focus is the sine qua non of reaching our potential.  This scatteredness is largely responsible for draining us of the energy we need to accomplish our goals.  Additionally, in Success 101, John Maxwell outlines three difficult situations that we need to be aware of and learn to manage around:

Activity Without Direction - doing things that don't seem to matter

Burden Without Action - not being able to do things that really  matter

Conflict Without Resolution - not being able to deal with what's the matter

These sap our energy because they chip away at our dignity and needlessly undermine our ability to focus.  If we find ourselves faced with any of these difficult circumstances, we need to work extra hard to manage around them.  The first step to accomplishing this is seeing the big picture and knowing our part in it.  Knowing our purpose can insulate us from many of the external distractions we face on a daily basis.

Maxwell writes, "The better you are at making sure you're doing what you should be doing, the better chance y ou have for making an impact on others and being successful."  At the same time, not all stress is bad.  We need to look for opportunities within our circumstances to expand our capacity.  Loehr and Schwartz write in The Power of Full Engagement, that "Any form of stress that prompts discomfort has the potential to expand our capacity-physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually-so long as it is followed by adequate recovery."  It's part of learning to manage yourself exceptionally well.

I hope that was as insightful to you as it was to me.  I took some time and shared this with our youth leadership team, and really feel like it was good for them to hear and try to apply.  Take some time and write a list on each of the three energy drainers mentioned in this artical and begin to work towards a more fulfilled journey.  Seems to work...

Tough Week

We found out today that my 3 year old son Cayden has Pneumonia.  Lets just say it's been a tough week at the Mudd home.  Again we could use your prayers.  Those of you who are parents you know how it is when your kids get sick.  I can handle my own sickness rather well, but when one of my kids are really sick... wow, that is killer.  I will admit, however, that I am really pathetic when I'm sick.  My wife always comments that I don't handle sickness well.  She may have even said I act like a girl when I'm sick but then again, who doesn't.... Right?

I Hate Being Sick...

For the few of you that are following my blog you may have noticed I have not posted for a few days.  First of all, thanks for noticing.  Second, I have been really sick.  Probably every two years I have this tendency to get so run down, that I catch whatever is out there.  Well this time as you can tell by the medication I am on, it's alittle more than the common cold but I am not dying.  I have bronchitis!  Awesome right?  Anyway I will be taking some time today to catch up on a few posts so please check back later.  If you can, I could use the prayers.  Our worship band is playing at a retreat this weekend and I can't sing a note at this point without sounding like I'm going through puberty.  Anyway, nothing spiritual just not feeling well and could use the prayers.  Or is it more spiritual than I know...

Walter Payton's "Roundhouse"

Easily one of my favorite football players of all time.  Walter Payton!  Tonight we are going to his restaurant in Aurora, IL. called "Roundhouse."  I have been there once before and was so overwhelmed with all that he accomplished in his career.  Here is a few things maybe you didn't know about Walter Payton.  He was inducted in the NFL Hall of Fame in 1993. He played in 9 pro bowls.  He was a first round draft pick.  The only professional team he played with was the Chicago Bears.  He never missed a game for injury and later said the reason he never got injured was because he would always strive to hit his opponent harder than they hit him.  He played his last NFL game on January 10th, 1988.  He was called "Sweetness" to the end.  But something few people have ever heard is this, he was offered an opportunity to be moved up on the donors list, but declined because he knew someone would have had to die so that he could live.  I'm looking forward to walking through the room that holds things that he valued here on earth.  To remember a man that died before his time.  A good man.  Not sure there will ever be another like him.  He was a hero.  I wonder if he knew Jesus.  I hope so...

"3 Sides"

There was a line in Top Gun, where he talks about breaking a major rule of engagement.  "You NEVER leave your wing-man."  That is just one of those rules you don't break.  Well, I have this standing rule that I typically refuse to break.  However, today I did.  Dang it!!  I hate when I do that. It's simple, there are 3 sides to every story... your side, their side, and the TRUTH.  Typically when I'm giving someone advice or listening to their story, I never react or give advice based on one side of the story.  There is always another side and typically that side is just as jaded as the other.  See the problem is... people perceive things differently!  Lets put it this way... perception is reality... UNTIL INTERRUPTED BY FACT!  The fact part is typically the truth that is rarely experienced because people are to busy giving others advice based on one side of the story.  I am typically soooo good at waiting to hear or being aware of, the different sides of a story, but I really blew it today.  I'm such a freaking rookie sometimes.  There is nothing more powerful then to sit two people down and hear each side of the story and then help THEM see the TRUTH in what is really going on.  I think the enemy really uses relationships to divide people. I know he uses people who mean well but only take sides when they should serious consider all sides. It's our responsibility to help people discover the TRUTH of what really happened and what needs to change.  Anyway, I blew it today, but it was a good reminder that I must continue to stay neutral and advise people based on the truth not someone's perception of that truth.  Ugh... does that make sense?

Social Injustice[2]

  

Just another opportunity to discover ways we can help the world we live in.  I know that the poor was always on the heart of God and Jesus himself mentioned true religion was reaching out to those who can't help themselves.  It goes without say that we live a culture [America] that is very centered around self and the consuming power of "more."  If you have ever heard of the band Dispatch, then you will be familiar with "Braddigan."  "Braddigan" is a band that the drummer of Dispatch, Brad Corrigan, started.  He has taken his ministry [Love Light and Melody] to the trash dumps of Nicaragua and is bringing awareness to the world.  If you would like more information on how you can help and support Love Light and Melody, visit www.lovelightandmelody.org.  Buy a shirt... sponsor someone... make a difference... or just simply be aware...

Every Monday Matters[2]

Ok... so missed Monday's post... here it is.  Hope you enjoyed your Monday.  This one has proved to be a tough one for me.

"Turn Off Your TV"  Monday 02

Facts:

- 99% of all homes have at least one TV -45% have three or more.

- 56% of all 8 to 16 year-olds have a TV in their bedroom.

- A person watches TV on average of 40 days per year.

- Children spend 1,023 hours a year watching TV compared to 900 hours in school.

- 200,000 violent acts, including 16,000 murders, will be seen on TV by children before their 18th birthday.

- Roughly 70% of all TV shows include sexual content, with an average of five sexual scenes per hour.

- On average, 38.5 minutes per week of meaningful conversation happens between a parent and their child.

TAKE ACTION TODAY:

1. Turn of your TV today.

2. Designate certain TV-free times throughout the week to reduce viewing hours.

3. Remove TV's from the bedrooms, kitchen, etc.

4. Make a list of activities to do besides watching TV - activities like reading, biking, swimming, walking, gardening[who does that] or socializing with friends.  The start doing them.

5.  Avoid using TV as a reward - this only increases its power.

6.  Be more selective about programming and choose history, travel, cooking, home repair/design, and other educational themes.

YOU MATTER:

70% of people say that no matter how hard they try, they never seem to have enough time to do everything they need to do.  ARe you part of that 70%?  If you give up TV for just one day a week, you can exercise for the recommended weekly amount necessary for healthy living, read over 20 books a year, or spend more time with your loved ones.  Instead of watching a rerun of Friends, go make some.

"Tap Shoes"

I was completely upset.  I can't even begin to describe all the emotions I was dealing with a few weeks ago over something as simple as "Tap Shoes."  Here is the story.  My daughter, Alexia, just began a new dance class at the age of 5 years old.  There was a mix up in her registration and the dance academy decided to take it up on themselves to move her out of a class with all her friends to a different day that was less crowded.  Frustrating but we dealt with it.  So her first day arrived and she was so excited.  We got her there on time and while my wife changed her into her ballet shoes I parked the car.  The emotions started quickly when I got into the dance studio and saw my little girl in a line of little girls with her little white ballet slippers on looking down at all the other girls feet as they supported there BRAND NEW TAP SHOES!!!!!  NO ONE TOLD US SHE NEEDED TAP SHOES!!!  I can't describe to you how angry and upset I was.  If you could have seen the look on her face... I completely flashed back to all those times growing up where I felt left out, and I did what any dad in that moment would do... I ran as fast as I could to our car and broke every traffic law getting to the Payless Shoe store down the road.  The lady must have thought I was  nuts as I came sprinting into the store screaming about "Tap Shoes" and stupid dance teachers.  Needless to say by the time I got back they had all changed into their ballet shoes.  I got those tap shoes out of the box and held them up to the window so my daughter could see that she had her own "Tap Shoes" like everyone else.  The look of joy and excitement on her face was what I will remember for the rest of my life.  I love being a dad... but I really hate dance teachers now...

Get Rid Of The "Junk"

Following up my blog on NothingButNets, I figured I would share a thought with everyone.  It doesn't have to do with bed nets but with hocky/soccer nets.  I remember a scene from "Mighty Ducks," where they were trying to teach the defense to clean up the junk in front of the net because a majority of the time the opposing team scores off rebounds.  It is interesting to me how often we take care of ourselves physically and spiritually, but rarely do we take care of ourselves mentally.  Everyone of us through situations of life, or people, or simply how we were raised, have junk that we "manage."  What really happens with that junk that we think we manage is it just kinda hangs out "in front of the net" waiting for the "opposing team" to score a goal.  Like anything if we don't deal with it, it gets increasingly worse.  It's no different with our "junk."  I have been seeing a counselor for sometime now and I have to say it has been one of the most enlightening and healthy experiences of my life.  None of us really know how well we are handling the things that life throws at us.  We may think we are managing them, but our junk continues to hurt us, and worse, it effects those we are in relationship with even more.  I not only think it's important and healthy to find yourself on a "couch" talking with someone that God has educated and gifted to help us process those things that seem to really effect us, but I also believe it is absolutely irresponsible not to.  Once a month, twice a month, once a quarter... go take some time and "clean the junk up from in front of the net."  Maybe then you will find your way to freedom from things that you didn't realize were hurting you and those around you... Maybe you will even discover the person God created... Maybe you will for once, hear the "VOICE OF TRUTH"... maybe the enemy will stop using your junk to score goals...

Social Injustice

Each week I just want to take a moment and highlight an initiative that seems to be making a huge impact in the world of "social injustice."  It has been nice to see the church begin to respond to the needs of the world both at home and abroad.  It is definitely time people like Bono and Oprah stop leading the charge in the area of "social injustice," and time we the Church set the pace.  My friend Diego is a defense-man for the Chicago Fire and is also very involved with NOTHING BUT NETS.  He is one of the spokesman for the initiative and he and his wife Ginna have done  A LOT to see bed nets sent over sees to stop the spread of Malaria in countries around the world.  For just 10 dollars  you can send a bed net oversees and not only do you save a life but you can actually save a family.  Each family is educated on the use of the bed net along with the need for it.  Please visit nothingbutnets.net and explore what is taking place to save people from this disease.  I promise you will be moved to act and someone's life will be different.  Send a net, save a life!